he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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