I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
