I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
