Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
