This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
