You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
