And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
