Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You have to summon your inner elephant
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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