I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
