Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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