This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
