I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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