I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
