We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
