Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
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