i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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