I am spending my child support on dildos
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
That reminds me...we need to get swords
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
