69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
