The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize