rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
