You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
