ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
