just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
