You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
