kristin has been a bad kristin
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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