4 words: hood of his car
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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