Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
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