im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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