Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
