im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
