I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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