what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize