i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
