I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
