I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
that's an acceptable place to lick
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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