the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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