i permit you to call me
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
