Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
