3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
