Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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