was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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