Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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