Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
