I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
