Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
