This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
