Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
