just come out here and I will go home with you...
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
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