that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
