your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize