your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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