Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
