she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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