there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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