she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
