Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize