sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
