"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
