Sry I called you an 8
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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