The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
