One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I don't deserve a penis
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
