piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
