The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
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