this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
